shift of focus

when i focus on release
releasing guilt for example
i show myself my guilt
all the things i should feel guilt over
present themselves
manifest
my focus grows itself

when i shift
shift myself to focus
ie. on loving myself
Ways to love myself
more Wholly
present themselves
manifest
my focus grows myself

what i want does not end
what i need all takes its time

let's talk about sex, babies.

my friend Jennifer posted a question on facebook: " Question to all the parents: about what age did your child/ren start to ask questions about "where babies come from"/sex/reproduction? Do you think there is a right or "wrong" age to discuss it? How was it handled in your household growing up? I appreciate any input from anyone. I'm working on a paper. Thanks! "

The following is what i wrote. it's late and i'm no perfectionist today. enjoy. :P

i knew what sex was when i was 3 because i asked and my mom told me the truth. so my barbies did it with Ken, and i promised not to talk about sex with other kids.

We have always been free of shame w/ re sex and Artan... he has been interested since he was about just turning 4. he called me "Sexy" a lot earlier than that, though, because my man calls me that all the time. Sex, we believe, should be celebrated.

Artan gets boners a lot and he is sure into talking about it. my mom thinks i shouldn't talk about it, that i should worry he'll say things to other kids and i'll get in trouble. i'm not too worried about it at all or anything else for that matter. he asked his little girlfriend if she has a vagina and she said no what's that? he did not know that most kids don't get full-on anatomy lessons at 3 years old, and i told him that she probably calls it her 'pee pee' or something. when i was a kid the other kids called it a 'peach' or 'petunia' or anything but the real word. i think that's ridiculous. our provincial capital is Regina but it's not pronounced like you'd think, it actually rhymes with vagina. and my son hysterically laughingly pointed that out at 3 years old too. he has an incredible sense of humor !

i think for me i was caught between knowing what it was and perceiving all this shame and guilt associated with sex from such a young age... i was 'saving myself for marriage' on one hand and extremely horny and curious and enamored by the mystery of sex, that my issues with sex stemmed from having participated in the pattern i was taught. I was not able to talk to my parents about sex when i was having it as a teenager, and i know for sure that if they had not placed so much shame on it i could have been more open with them, since i was in love and very serious about marriage and of course i was careful. even when i shacked up with the man who became my first husband, my parents would not stay in our home, but would stay in a hotel instead, when they came to Calgary to visit. i would not have married him if that were not the climate in relation to premarital sex being unholy. but woulda, shoulda, and coulda can teach us some pretty profound lessons.

what sexual climate do we set for our children when we ignore a vital part of our humanity in their presence? what does it teach them if they never see mom and dad madly embracing? as you know, the hormones associated with sex and birth and breastfeeding (particularly oxytocin) are the same experience emotionally when you really get down to what this is about: intimacy. parents who enjoy each other, possibly who nursed-while-humping, would not be interested in hiding from their children the miraculous and pragmatic glorious legend of the sex.

i hope that helps... thanks for letting me ramble...

buenos noches

I'll Get to Doing That... but first can i bake you a cake?

The photo is of my where my deck was ripped out, which has to be cleaned up still. I can't get too carried away with landscaping since there will be renos one day























I have already had two showers today and I stink again (such is life during a parasite cleanse!) Never mind the heat out there - it's 30 degrees celcius today!

So much is in flux right now, so much out-with-the-old, in-with-the-new energetic processing, not like in times past where it was utter upheaval, but it's intense because we are approaching it like 'from the inside', from within our thought patterns. I'm ahead of myself with that; plenty has been stirred up. Removal is another thing entirely. Getting rid of all that i know i do not want is the theme of this week for me. Moving forward with all i want, all i have awaiting me. I am at the transition of the birth that is the newest me, the most pure and holy Marna.

Deservance / worthiness is probably the biggest blocking pattern in my history. I was not always convinced that i deserved to have what i wanted. I have been just a little bit stuck in an ancestral pattern, which played out for a time in my life, when patterns of guilt and non-acceptance of self were highly ingrained within my defense system. I thought i needed to be protected from everything out there, but what i really needed protection from was what was going on in here. eternally.

i'm a Cancer cusping Leo, so I'm really feeling this rhythm now. I don't beat myself up anymore for not doing my dishes every day, or for not picking up all the toys and clothing my son can set records for leaving laying around. I don't need to worry about what people think, and I care most about peace and flow, so sometimes a little mess can be a good thing. When people stand to get hurt, things get picked up! When I know i NEED things to be neat and tidy then I do the tidying. I don't care anymore, unto my own aesthetic needs, because i would not have something in my home that i did not love, and therefore, i look at it like, I'm surrounded by things i love, and they're beautiful, and there are usually stories, and it's okay if you don't appreciate it because i do. my cave is my Space of Love. It's what you CAN't see that makes it all the more powerful.

In simple humility, i have the love of a wee abode not pretending to bow to materialism. i am the richest, most abundant eccentric wise woman anybody knows, whether they know or not, i don't care. My lifestyle is filled with joy, and I don't ever have to worry, I don't ever have to stress. I can relax when i need to, and ride the waves of the worker bee when i have them. In this heat, i will enjoy what aspects work for me - water! - and fresh fruit!

Blessings in Ecstatic Warmth & Humidity

"Primal"

primal ease
instead of primal fear

fear came upon
the Forgetting

Remembering Who We Are
relieves the fear
relieves pain & suffering

Primal Comfortability

I come from a moment
I exist in a time

I am now, I AM eternal

primal trust, by design

I know where I AM from

I know how to Shine.

(Marna Finney July 2010)

Baby-Wearing Suits Everybody, Especially Babies

Why Every Parent Should Wear Their Babies

I'll admit it's a passion of mine, but it's also a primal instinct for humans - primitive as well as modern, civilized humans - to wear their young. The benefits are astounding, and I speak from personal experience. To list just a few of the 'official' perks of baby-wearing, you get calmer babies who cry much less and are less prone to colic or gas; they are better socialized because they are eye-to-eye with society and therefore also have better language development because they are better able to hear and see adults; and of course, parents get to bond with and know their child so well the child's needs are met instantly and less stress is experienced by everyone.

My Personal Experience

I did not find it as easy to do in the early months, but at 8 weeks my son and i found our groove. Because my arms got so tired from holding him while standing up, I insisted on mastering the wearing of him in a sling that was given to me. Artan nursed every hour for the first year, so i loved having the option to just nurse him while i did whatever it was i was doing - so not feeling interrupted, I was a happier mommy; not having to wait for boob, he was a happier baby. We used a sling for at least two and a half years, but used it less frequently as he was getting older, when he wanted to walk instead. I never once took my son's car seat out of the car - with the exception of the first and only time, which was just ridiculously cumbersome for me but i tried it because he was sleeping when we got to a restaurant. After that I just picked him up, sleeping or not, and put him into the sling, where he continued to sleep anyway. I also didn't need to keep a baby swing / electric or bouncy rocker in my space either. I never felt like it was cramping my style because my style is that of the busy hands, busy feet, eye-to-eye, heart-to-heart, relationship-oriented loving living type.

What Kind of Sling Works Best

I loved my padded ring sling for the first year because they have great control, are comfortable for the early months when nursing comfort is absolutely critical - especially with outings. If you find these awkward at first, there is a hump you have to get over and then these work blissfully - especially for constant-nursers!

For older babies, however, the one-piece / native / baby star/ band-style is my preference. These are great if you just need support with shorter wearings and want to have a tidier sling in tow (ie they fit better in your purse).

The really-long-piece of fabric style, which can wrap any which way, is great for going to a wedding; a really gorgeous wrap (i have made custom wraps for custom outfits) is especially handy for extra privacy in crowds where my child is not supposed to be the center of attention! ;)

They Usually Fall Asleep But They Could Also Be Super Heroes

If I could, I would coach every mother in my community for free on how to achieve easier baby-wearing. I will endeavor to use my feral goddess youtube page to post a few tutorials and demonstrations. Why is it important - aside from the fact that all babies tend to fall asleep in the sling - to wear your baby? Because it's imperative for humans to remain primal, to continue nurturing the mammalian brain and not neglecting deeply critical emotional energy within the limbic system, so that we can instead embrace yet another excellent opportunity to heal the evolving human race from the attempted denigration of the family bond by plastic corporate greed. We can recover our society from the surrogate comforts, which always lead to maladjusted personalities, neuroses, health problems, etc. Instead we can inspire authenticity in the people we co-create. They can be emotionally secure and therefore have none of the hang-ups we've 'discovered' in the most recent generations.

"...Modern science (as a front for greedy energy-control corporations financed by Illuminati banking interests) still has nearly everyone fooled." (David Wolfe / Nick Good, Amazing Grace 2008)

We can create super-heroes out of our children by meeting their physical and emotional needs in those early years especially. Do the research - children who are not breast-fed are much more likely to become criminals, for example. So how much greater can we make babies, if we not only meet their nutritional needs but also their higher-brain functioning (such as socialization, as i mentioned in the first section), simply by wearing them on our bodies?

Well, I have to admit, I am living with a 4-year-old super hero now and I am in humble gratitude that my instincts led me to this time-honored, primal practice. Baby-wearing - JUST DO IT!

<3 Blessings in Ecstatic Living

to worry is the devil

As an attempting Co-Creator in an aspirant Legacy of Ecstatic Mothering, I endeavor to discourage mothers from worrying not just because it's not fun, but worrying actually creates bad situations (footnotes as per quantum physics, ancient texts, etc ... :p ).

what to do with the mama bear instinct energy? it's unfortunately a modern motherly response to want to "fix" the situation in a masculine sense, but all we tend to do with that primal energy is to worry, which is not beneficial. So... instead of worrying in the classic sense, you can use your 'concerns' to remind you to creatively ask to receive intuitive guidance as to that which would shift the pattern into something your family members can use to their mutual advantage. If you find yourself worrying (by recognizing 'bad' feelings during thoughts), press 'delete' in your head and ask a how or why question from which you accept responsibility in the answer, for example, how can i turn his day around? if you wait for an answer, simply by knowing you have an audience (all that is, I AM, God, what-have-you), trust that you'll get an answer. And the brilliant Universal Mother within you actually answers. I've seen this happen time & time again.

I don't have issues with worrying as much as i have programs running that are negative 'curses' such as, "if you keep playing on the street you're bound to get hit by a car" or anything - it could be anything psychological too - it's often that i catch myself repeating exactly what my mother and grandparents would say (and i am sure, their grandparents before them and so on) This is how things in this world get out of control. We are capable of creating a different paradigm of parenting if we end the patterns - such as worrying, nagging, etc - by choosing to replace them with positive ones that eventually encourage our children to express who they really are - which is absolutely magical. Long-held patterns tend to stifle evolution. The only thing that is constant is change!

It is my prayer that my long-blabbering rants inspire parents to partake in conscious evolution so that worry, fear, doubt, and all negativity may become extinct.

<3 Blessings in Ecstatic Living

Six Years of Good Home Lovin'

In honor of my SIX YEAR Anniversary of the day I moved in with Kelt to be his wife, I must resurrect this little ditty of devotional praise for my man:

Kelt is the yang to my yin in every way; we are twin souls, destined to procreatively bless the Mother with sweetness, rejoicing again and thanking the Father for the opportunity to love eternally.

I never knew a man could be so perfectly masculine and wonderfully feminine, and i never knew anyone could care so much! Kelt cares too much, but this is the greatest of his faults.

i love how he takes care of me, how i take care of him, how we can both perfectly well take care of ourselves but we GET to take care of eachother.

i love that he always expects the best of people, and that he wants to help to bring out the best in people. the first moment i met him i knew that about him, and it made me want to live my best life.

Kelt is a truly powerful healer, and he is not arrogant or self-righteous or even pretentious about it. it simply is one of his many gifts, one he has particular interest in because it matches his caring nature.

Kelt gets really pissed off at the same things i get pissed off at - mostly with regard to people who choose to continue creating hell for themselves - but i really do love the way he expresses his anger. he always talks about wanting to picket naked, and i think that's so adorable. he cares enough to want to make a difference. and so he does.

kelt is easily the most brilliant person i know.

kelt is the best daddy i could have imagined for my children, and he is fully supportive of my intense bond with Artan. he knows that we have to make up for lost time and heal wounds of separation from other times. he knows that we are all here together now to love and that's all that's required of us.

i've learned from Kelt so many things, and i continue daily to do so. we learn from each other and with each other, and every lesson is just a deeper understanding of the greater picture; just another aspect of love.

i just had to write this to express how much i respect and admire my husband for all his charm and character, sensitivity and sexiness, depth and dimension, wit and wisom, manliness and madness, talent and tenacity.

Everybody should just be nice. Go Flames Go. You just gotta giv'er.