Then & Now

When I first launched this blog, I was using it as a place to plunk my newsletters - which are, by their very definition, obsolete, retro, and hearken much too closely to the polished and perfected way they taught us to write 'journalistic' in writing school. I did actually get a Certificate in Professional Writing in 1998 from Mount Royal College and after a year of studying writing, I knew I still wanted to be a writer, but I really profoundly realized at the end of it all that I had a ways to go before I would know what it was I wanted to say.

So, I wrote songs for more than a decade. Spiritual, lyrical poetry, if you really want to get technical. Oh, and i did do some technical writing but those were dark times :) I kept it old-school, just using internet to write e-mails like they were letters to my pen-pals (of which i had many in high school, literally) or notes passed in jr high math class (ah-hem).

My intention with this relatively new form of expression is to commit to my relentless need for self-expression while remaining true to my calling as a Priestess of Truth; I won't mince words and I won't stray from my hard-care, radical perspective on empowered living.

I might not encourage people to do the things I don't do (for example, go to doctors, eat meat, use chemicals, etc) and I say some pretty extreme things some times, but I will always love the people with whom I come into contact - in real life and in this virtual reality - with unconditional acceptance.

Not everybody can handle unconditional acceptance - giving or receiving.

They say the way you do anything is the way you do anything. I resonate with this statement. Of course, I quite like extreme, radical statements. If you want to make change, I figure you should just change it all up at once. I know no other way. So, finding balance has been kind of a cosmic joke - my soul's urge to be radical fights my body's desires to repeat patterns. So, back & forth I have swung like a pendulum.

Being pendulous has had its moments. I thought that I was wasting time all those years, when I was simply growing into the person I am today. I really like who i am, and I would not have done anything differently. I spent my first marriage in conflict within, believing i had two natures (a sin nature and a holy longing) and it created a lot of conflict within that relationship. I asked God to reveal Self to me so many times, I was not surprised when I found what I was looking for within. But growth is painful, and it does not stop being so until a certain point. When you learn to nurture growth via intuition, connectedness, primal wisdom, and, above all else, creativity, you find new levels of power that just do not include the paradigm of pain and suffering. You can let go of a lot of old programs and find your voice.

My voice is found now - since the inception of Feral Goddess in 2008 upon a realization I promise to share another time - and I am not going to shut up.

Tomorrow I'm doing a four-hour trade show for local crafty business people. Last time I just gave away chocolate and newsletters, promoted my cleaning services, and ended up buying a bunch of things from the other vendors. However, this time, I am selling tie-dyed baby clothes and a few things for teens - all original creations from mostly clearanced or reclaimed clothing. I don't sew - yet.