my friend Jennifer posted a question on facebook:
" Question to all the parents: about what age did your child/ren start to ask questions about "where babies come from"/sex/reproduction? Do you think there is a right or "wrong" age to discuss it? How was it handled in your household growing up? I appreciate any input from anyone. I'm working on a paper. Thanks! "The following is what i wrote. it's late and i'm no perfectionist today. enjoy. :P
i knew what sex was when i was 3 because i asked and my mom told me the truth. so my barbies did it with Ken, and i promised not to talk about sex with other kids.
We have always been free of shame w/ re sex and Artan... he has been interested since he was about just turning 4. he called me "Sexy" a lot earlier than that, though, because my man calls me that all the time. Sex, we believe, should be celebrated.
Artan gets boners a lot and he is sure into talking about it. my mom thinks i shouldn't talk about it, that i should worry he'll say things to other kids and i'll get in trouble. i'm not too worried about it at all or anything else for that matter. he asked his little girlfriend if she has a vagina and she said no what's that? he did not know that most kids don't get full-on anatomy lessons at 3 years old, and i told him that she probably calls it her 'pee pee' or something. when i was a kid the other kids called it a 'peach' or 'petunia' or anything but the real word. i think that's ridiculous. our provincial capital is Regina but it's not pronounced like you'd think, it actually rhymes with vagina. and my son hysterically laughingly pointed that out at 3 years old too. he has an incredible sense of humor !
i think for me i was caught between knowing what it was and perceiving all this shame and guilt associated with sex from such a young age... i was 'saving myself for marriage' on one hand and extremely horny and curious and enamored by the mystery of sex, that my issues with sex stemmed from having participated in the pattern i was taught. I was not able to talk to my parents about sex when i was having it as a teenager, and i know for sure that if they had not placed so much shame on it i could have been more open with them, since i was in love and very serious about marriage and of course i was careful. even when i shacked up with the man who became my first husband, my parents would not stay in our home, but would stay in a hotel instead, when they came to Calgary to visit. i would not have married him if that were not the climate in relation to premarital sex being unholy. but woulda, shoulda, and coulda can teach us some pretty profound lessons.
what sexual climate do we set for our children when we ignore a vital part of our humanity in their presence? what does it teach them if they never see mom and dad madly embracing? as you know, the hormones associated with sex and birth and breastfeeding (particularly oxytocin) are the same experience emotionally when you really get down to what this is about: intimacy. parents who enjoy each other, possibly who nursed-while-humping, would not be interested in hiding from their children the miraculous and pragmatic glorious legend of the sex.
i hope that helps... thanks for letting me ramble...
buenos noches
