I have already had two showers today and I stink again (such is life during a parasite cleanse!) Never mind the heat out there - it's 30 degrees celcius today!
So much is in flux right now, so much out-with-the-old, in-with-the-new energetic processing, not like in times past where it was utter upheaval, but it's intense because we are approaching it like 'from the inside', from within our thought patterns. I'm ahead of myself with that; plenty has been stirred up. Removal is another thing entirely. Getting rid of all that i know i do not want is the theme of this week for me. Moving forward with all i want, all i have awaiting me. I am at the transition of the birth that is the newest me, the most pure and holy Marna.
Deservance / worthiness is probably the biggest blocking pattern in my history. I was not always convinced that i deserved to have what i wanted. I have been just a little bit stuck in an ancestral pattern, which played out for a time in my life, when patterns of guilt and non-acceptance of self were highly ingrained within my defense system. I thought i needed to be protected from everything out there, but what i really needed protection from was what was going on in here. eternally.
i'm a Cancer cusping Leo, so I'm really feeling this rhythm now. I don't beat myself up anymore for not doing my dishes every day, or for not picking up all the toys and clothing my son can set records for leaving laying around. I don't need to worry about what people think, and I care most about peace and flow, so sometimes a little mess can be a good thing. When people stand to get hurt, things get picked up! When I know i NEED things to be neat and tidy then I do the tidying. I don't care anymore, unto my own aesthetic needs, because i would not have something in my home that i did not love, and therefore, i look at it like, I'm surrounded by things i love, and they're beautiful, and there are usually stories, and it's okay if you don't appreciate it because i do. my cave is my Space of Love. It's what you CAN't see that makes it all the more powerful.
In simple humility, i have the love of a wee abode not pretending to bow to materialism. i am the richest, most abundant eccentric wise woman anybody knows, whether they know or not, i don't care. My lifestyle is filled with joy, and I don't ever have to worry, I don't ever have to stress. I can relax when i need to, and ride the waves of the worker bee when i have them. In this heat, i will enjoy what aspects work for me - water! - and fresh fruit!
Blessings in Ecstatic Warmth & Humidity
